Koopler's name came from the Greek word, "Kupleracus" which means "The one with the jaws" in German. Koopler took the first part of the word (Kupler) and changed the "u" to a "oo" after his first name (oo). Little did Koopler know that the word "Koopleracus" mean "the coffee machine with the large jaws in German.
Koopler was born in Ontario, Washington, and was raised by his single father, Alan. Alan's wife died the second he married her due to a large concentration of mushroom cloud gasses. She is now a Zombie. Alan was a fire hydrant in job, and a police dog in his spare time. He went to school in Canada and picked up a German accent there. Once he moved to Alaska, he met Koopler's mother "Moma". He soon picked up a Greek accent and named Koopler "oo". oo joined a Forum on the Internet called Peanuts Adventure, which was a site about the Peanut comics. Koopler didn't like his real name, so he devised a clever plan and didn't put his real name as his username. He put down "Koopler" instead. It was a name his Dad had told him about (being Greek). Koopler died in the year 2030. He died of a terrible diseases called Gingivitis. Gingivitis is a cancer that originates in your mouth and then spreads to your toes. Koopler was buried in a tree north of southern Asia and many people attended his funeral like Koto Akanichi, Brain Willmont, Steve Powers, Henrey Stephano, and Roin Greendale, all very important people in his life. Koopler soon got a job at Lawrence University in the Netherlands as a College representative and gave people loans for a few years. Koopler said "screw this" a few years after his new job and married a girl. Koopler and the girl got married and had 4 kids and lived in a 12 acre house and bought all the Modern furniture for it. They had a classic Vanity, but the HRA didn't approve of it. Koopler got a job with Nook and started talking to all the people in his town. He talked to ducks and water fowl. Koopler died in 1960. He was very sad. It was a terrible emotional tragedy he had to live through. He ditched his wife and went to live with his parents, Bob and Cathy. B and C let him live in their house while he mourned.
Koopler current lives in southern California as a bus clerk selling hot dog tickets to unsuspecting travelers.
Koopler died in the year 2090. You can pay your respects to him by supporting his "help a child" charity. Used to save the rain forests, "tame an Ogre" charity has led Africa's top society members into greatness. Call Koopler's number and he'll be glad to take your donation. If not, he will forgive you.
Watch behind your back, though. Koopler has all sort of tricks up his sleeve, all of which he learned at his job as a magic dealer. Koopler was arrested for worshipping Jesus and was sentenced to death by the king of Poland. So Koopler painted bunny pictures for the rest of his life in France. He married a cute girl by the name of Henery, who told him his rent was overdue. Koopler left his apartment and ran to Italy where he ate pasta in France. Koopler's cat, Oli, saved the universe. Koopler watched it every evening when it came on TV with his cat Tommy. Tommy was a good watchdog and bit burglars on the face if they tried to harass Tom Nook. Koopler paid off his loan in the year 5 and people loved him. The press was all over him, asking for interviews and junk, but Koopler never forgot about Clarice, his wife. She was his everything. She died when Koopler was only a little boy, so Koopler never got a chance to know her, but his father supported him for 5 years.
Koopler lived happily ever after. He got a job at Wallmart and died. He married a woman and got a job in Mario Galaxy playing EarthBound with a Yoshi hat on. Koopler is Kool.
THE END?
Haha, hardly. The End he says…..
His supposed end was only the beginning of the end of the begninning's end. So the unwise-not-so-elders used to say. After koopler's staged deaths, he produced sloppy broadway plays to support his lasagna and pepsi addictions, both of which gave him incredible spleenburn on sundays and evey other holiday. To take his mind and heart off of his sickness, koopler invested in pillow stuffing factories and a new edible drywall syndicate. Both failed miserably and he became incredibly rich. He spent most of his money on purple cars and disposible girlfriends which gave him nearly complete satisfaction. Unfortunently, one of his girlfriends melted in his lap, a criminal offense in most continents. Koopler left America only to be followed by the Czar of Bosnia who claimed Koopler had stolen his lunch money in the third grade. Koopler wouldn't give the money back and proceeded to wage war on Bosnia, south america and the moon. Koopler's soldiers were all made out of cream cheese. Czar Bosnia sold all his soldiers to a grocery store. Koopler won the war and inhabited the moon. While building a doghouse for his pet puppet, Koopler struck a main artery in the moon which released fountains of flaming cotten candy, which Koopler ate immedietly.
Tired of the moon and nearly destroyed with grief at his dead puppet, Koopler moved back to Alaska to hunt basketballs. He also bought telescopes to spy on his many enemies, most of them french. He continues to build soap huts to this day.
